Enchanted

I can pretend time and time again that she belonged to me.

But I am not sure if I was in love with a girl or with her memory. I am not certain if I fell in love with the girl or the illusion she has left me.

She caught my eye when we were young. And I watched her dance along a crowded ballroom. I was on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall as I fidgeted with my handkerchief for my hand became too sweaty, for my fingers trembled out of anxiousness and excitement.

I was sixteen then. And she was younger by a year. I watched how she glided, how elegant her movements were. Each stroke was met with perfect precision, from the point of her toe to the tilt of her head, each movement was wonderfully executed that I know then she has enchanted me.

Her partner held her hand and spun her twice. And for the first time I saw her smile. A step back with the right, a step to the side with a left, she danced gracefully.

She was this tender flower that swayed with the wind.

She smiled again. And her smile was infectious. From afar I can see the mirth in her big doe eyes. She has lovely eyes.

I stepped forward, another step and another and another until I’m just arm’s length away from her. I tapped the shoulder of her partner and she looked at me with curious eyes for she’ll be taken by a stranger.

I bowed my head and smiled. And somehow I believed she saw kindness in my eyes. And big doe eyes looked upon auburn ones. She really does have lovely eyes.

The second time I saw her she held my hand.

She does not know me. She does not remember me. But I knew her, I remembered her for from the very moment that I saw her form, that I saw her smile, she has enchanted me.

I was twenty-four then. And she was younger by a year. And for the first time I saw her cry. I watched how she sat on the stairwell and cried her heart out. She bit her lower lip and she tried to hold back the tears with a heaving chest.

She was wearing black and I just knew someone died. She was a strong woman, too strong for her own good and once again she has enchanted me.

After a few tears, she paused, straightened her back and wept silently.

Those big doe eyes that I last saw glistened with mirth was now tainted with sadness.
I stepped forward, another step and another and another until I’m just arm’s length away from her.

With curious eyes she looked up at me. I extended my hand and gave her my handkerchief. She took my hand and I relished the feeling of the tenderness of her flesh. But I drew my hand away. I rather see her smile than see her cry. When she took the piece of cloth from me, I turned around and left.

And now I’m thirty-five. And she was younger by a year. And I watched her walked along the aisle.

As I stand in front of the altar, I watched how she floated along the carpeted floor. And yes she floated, for like a beautiful fairy clad in a virgin white dress, she graced my presence. She still looked like the girl I met so long ago, the one who danced so gracefully, the one who spun again and again until her eyes were filled with that tinge of happiness.

Her hair was longer than before chocolate curls curtained her beautiful face. She bloomed like a beautiful rose on a warm day of May.

Under the sheer veil, I saw her smile.

Her smile was infectious and I smiled back. She was closer to me now, just ten steps away.

But then I closed my eyes, as the groom stepped forward and held her hand. And I stepped to the side and bowed my head; for she took his arm and kissed his cheek and I was just a stranger to her, maybe a friend, but nothing more maybe something less.

And when my brother, placed the golden ring on her finger, my fists involuntarily closed and my nails unwillingly buried themselves on my palms.

And once again I closed my eyes, for the sight before me was too painful to see.

I can pretend that I have not fallen for this girl, for this woman. But she has enchanted me.